Intentional Reflection

Overview

Dare I say it…there are 31 days remaining this year. The countdown begins! 🕛️ 🎆 

(Did any of you go hide?)

Don’t worry, we’re not rushing ahead. This month, you’re going to slow time down and intentionally ease into 2024 by looking backward, not forward.

You’ve heard that hindsight is 20-20? That’s not what we’re gonna do. Hindsight looks at the past and tells you what you “should” have done. Sometimes unhealthy shame creeps into that “I should have done X” phrase.

No, we’re talking about “reflection”. Reflection is a thoughtful analysis of your past that assesses your actions and 1) gives your past self some grace (we all make mistakes) and 2) says that mistakes (and successes) give you information to use in the future.

Reflection provides clarity and guidance for future actions. By reflecting on yourself and your relationship, you’ll discover how to transform your relationship in 2024.

Issue(s)

A new year brings resolutions and a hopeful mindset. It's like a fresh start. But have your past fresh starts been successful? A study in 2021 (and perhaps your own experience) found that most people, despite being committed to their resolutions and saying they would overcome obstacles, ended up giving up on those plans within the first month of the new year.

Consider how you and your partner typically approach the new year. I bet the simple version goes something like this:

• What should we do for New Year’s Eve?

  • Head to a party or go to bed early?

• Do you have any New Year's resolutions?

  • I haven’t thought about it yet.

  • Not really.

  • Yea, lose a little weight.

🎬️ End scene.

The result? Any resolution loosely discussed fails in January. Your weekends fill up and you no longer own them. Your relationship ambles onward and by the end of the year you’re saying, “Wow, that year flew by” and…here we are.

Why? Let’s reflect.

No reflection = no clarity = no specific plan forward = no intentional direction.

If you want your relationship to grow, you have to create the space for it.

❗️ You’re not starting any ole regular year, you’re starting 2024 with intentionality.

Doing what you’ve always done won’t cut it. It’s time to set the stage for an intentional relationship.

Analysis:

Research indicates the habit of reflection separates extraordinary humans from mediocre ones. It’s through reflection that you expand your self-awareness, learn, and find clarity. It’s with this clarity that you understand how to engage in your future.

Solution:

To transform your relationship in 2024, start with individual reflection. Do this in a journal, while brushing your teeth, or when you’re watching a holiday movie for the 100th time (no judgment here).

Action:

Reflect and answer these questions:

1. What did I learn about myself this year? (What surprised you? What mistakes did you make? What frustrated you?

2. What risks did I avoid out of fear and why?

3. What consumed or bothered me that I want to let go of?

4. What are the top 5 things that give me joy and how many of those items do I enjoy each day/week?

5. What experiences were fulfilling this year and what were not? Why?

6. What new habit or experience would enrich my life in 2024?

7. What is the #1 thing I want with my partner next year and why?

Give yourself space to “feel all the feels” that may come with these answers. Don’t try to change or fix them. Just let them exist in time and thought.

➕ Bonus Partnership Points: get your partner involved in the reflection. You need their insight so you can intentionally tackle 2024 together.

Conclusion:

Don’t blindly waltz into the new year.
⏸️ Reflect.

Until next week,

Michelle @ Partnership Pulse

P.S. This month’s theme is reflective planning so that come 2024 you’re primed and ready to set intentional goals with your partner. For now, breathe deeply and revel in reflection.

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