Intentional Power

7 pitfalls hindering your full potential

Author

Michelle Allen
February 10, 2024

Overview

You and your partner are co-founders of your relationship.

🟰 Meaning, you each have equal power to voice thoughts, define your relationship direction, and obtain the results you desire.

Issue(s)

Sometimes, equal power becomes unequal. This shift in power dynamics can be attributed to various factors.

On the one hand, it could result from an external force exerted upon you, such as your partner's intentional or unintentional influence, subtly shaping the dynamic between you.

On the other hand, the imbalance might have originated from your actions or internal thoughts that unknowingly limited your power.

Analysis:

Quick story: A man married for 40+ years shared with me, “I thought I was being a leader when I made decisions for my family, turns out my decisions stifled my wife’s voice.” It’s a discovery he is only now uncovering with his wife.

The balance of power had shifted; he didn’t know it and she didn’t speak up.

Kathy Caprino, a Forbes column contributor and career coach, shares seven damaging power gaps that keep you from your highest potential. ( 👈️ Worth the read, but while Kathy addresses the workplace, I’ll review them below as to your relationship.)

Pitfalls keeping you from your full relationship potential:

  • Not recognizing your unique talents, abilities, and accomplishments

    • You and your partner have unique attributes that make a difference to each other and others! Are you regularly using those talents? Are you recognizing and celebrating them? When you do, you should each feel energy and appreciation.

  • Communicating from fear instead of strength

    • Your relationship should be a safe space where you can always speak your truth and not fear any negative consequences. It’s through sharing your thoughts you can effectively problem-solve together.

  • Reluctance to ask for what you deserve

    • Sometimes, partners don’t pick up on the obvious. 🤯 Just like your career, you are your best advocate. Speak up.

  • Isolation from influential support

    • You are your first line of support for your partner. Don’t let your own interpretation of relationship support obscure your partner’s true need.

    • Also, consider the people you regularly communicate with. Who do you turn to outside of your partner? Having additional family members, friends, or mentors can provide you with different perspectives and encouragement.

  • Going along with it instead of saying “stop”

    • Every founder needs a trusted advisor who will encourage the best ideas and counsel against the worst. Be that source of sage, honest advice to your partner.

  • Losing sight of your thrilling dream

    • Just because you combined your lives, doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice your dreams. How can you get back to that you who was inspired?

  • Allowing past trauma to define you

    • Ships don’t sink because of the water around them, ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down. (Author unknown.) You get to choose how to define yourself and your reality.

Solution:

Figure out where you feel strong and where you don't. Keep a fair balance of power in your relationship by strengthening the areas that are hindering you.

Action:

Take your pick:

  • Discuss all seven power gaps with your partner and each of you identify and discuss what resonated most for you and how to regain that power for yourself.

  • Dig deep into pitfall #1 - not recognizing talents and abilities. Make a list of ALL the 🔥 skills you have.

    • ✅ Put a check next to the talents you get to use each week.

    • ⭐️ Put a star next to the ones you aren’t using, but which you want to start shining through.

  • Now repeat the above, but think about your partner’s abilities and talents. Write the list, check it twice, and star it. Then hand the list to your partner to let them know you notice and appreciate their talents.

Conclusion:

You should never feel like your power is diminished—whether you’re at work, out with friends, or stripped down in your most vulnerable state at home with your partner.

Close your power gaps.

Empower yourself. Empower your partner.

Let’s grow together,

Michelle @ Partnership Pulse

P.S. Sending a warm welcome to those who joined Partnership Pulse last week!

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