Intentional Overtime Recognition

Overview

Generally, if you work more than 40 hours in the USA (in a blue-collar job) or more than 48 in the UK (unless you refuse to work more), an employer must pay you a premium pay of 1.5 times your standard hourly rate.

Let’s simplify: you give your time to someone else by working more hours, and you’re guaranteed a reward greater than you usually receive.

🤔❓️ 
What are you paying your partner for their extra effort?
What is your partner paying you?
Is it even noticed?

Issue(s)

Relationships don’t have time cards to track or administrative oversight to require how much effort you and your partner put into your relationship.
There isn’t a clear line that triggers “overtime.”

This means you or your partner’s extra effort
often goes unnoticed and undervalued. 👎️

Some reasons hindering more frequent recognition of our partner:

• High-performance expectations: We set the bar so high that our partner (often) doesn’t meet it. Instead of praise, we feel disappointment.

• Lack of time: We focus on other time demands and don’t prioritize our partner. Instead of pausing to acknowledge the help, our thoughts jump to the next pressing “to-do.”

• Recognition doesn’t come easily: we don’t have the skills or practice to know how to recognize our partner. We stay silent instead of sharing what we notice.

• Self-centeredness: we’re focused on ourselves instead of noticing our partner's contributions. We have tunnel vision.

Negative reactions such as bitterness, detachment, lethargy, or [insert your feeling] may occur when you or your partner feel undervalued.

Analysis:

Regular and valuable recognition increases engagement and loyalty.
Recognizing your partner:

• fosters a path toward growth

  ↳ you see a positive, loving future

• increases engagement

  ↳ you want to spend more time together

• deepens connection

  ↳ you notice more things you can do for your partner

• reduces burnout

  ↳ you are energized by your efforts instead of deflated

Let’s face it: we all appreciate being appreciated.

Solution:

When your partner goes above and beyond, pull out these two things:

Recognition + Meaningful Bonus

1. Recognition: sharpen your Sherlock Holmes skills.
   Notice your partner and the extra things, the above and beyond, or efforts that came through just in time (meaning, you felt a sense of relief).

2. Meaningful Bonus: do or give something of value to your partner.
   What does your partner find valuable? (Hint: Recognition is never about yourself; it’s about the other person.) Each partner is unique and may value a written note, a deep hug, extra spending money, quality time, or a call-out in front of your friends.

You must notice your partner and then provide them with a meaningful act that will resonate with them.

🔑 Key: If you normalize recognition, you normalize support of one another.

Action:

Get real about recognition. Share experiences and future hopes about recognition and value. Ask:

1. Are there any tasks or areas in our relationship where you feel you go above and beyond, and what are those?

   Goal: know what to look for to recognize your partner.

2. How do you like to be recognized for your extra efforts?

   Goal: identify how to give meaningful recognition.

3. How, where, or when can I provide extra help to you?

   Goal: know where you can go above and beyond.

Conclusion:

Pay your partner for their overtime.
Recognize and value the extra time and thought they give to your relationship.

Thrive together,

Michelle
👋 Say hi on LinkedIn.

P.S. Sending a warm welcome to those who joined Partnership Pulse last week! You showed up - that’s the first step to an intentional relationship.

P.P.S. Read more about the US Federal Trade Commission’s decision to up the salary threshold and alter overtime by clicking here.