Intentional Conscious Accountability

Overview

Traditional accountability focuses on yourself.

Conscious accountability expands awareness beyond what you want and considers how your actions affect the quality of your relationship.

Issue(s)

In its simplest form, accountability involves only one person—you. While your partner watches from the outside as you check boxes:

☑️ Did I follow through with my goal?
☑️ Am I taking responsibility for my actions?
☑️ Do I accept reality and act within it?

Your partner may help you stay on track:

☑️ There’s still time to jog today; want to lace up?

You’re either committed to getting your desired results or shirking your responsibility. This transactional process means reaching your goal is possible but might not improve your relationship (or yourself) because it’s confined to your lone success.

Analysis:

David Tate defines conscious accountability as “expanding awareness to create deliberate intentions, take informed actions, and be responsible for your impact.”

This means that when you make choices or work with your partner on a task, you focus not just on the final result but also on how you and your partner will work and interact together and consider what you’ll learn from the experience.

You are motivated not only by your personal desire but also by shared goals and the quality of your relationship.

Your partner isn’t on the outskirts; they’re intimately involved and affected.

Solution:

The next time you set a goal or approach a serious conversation, consider how your actions will influence your partner.

David C. Tate encourages conscious accountability with a 7-step tool called CONNECT.

1. Create clarity in goals and expectations

2. Open up engagement

3. Nail it

4. Notice

5. Exchange feedback

6. Claim it

7. Try again

Go to minute 24:30 in the linked video to learn more about each element.

Action:

Try out step 2 in the CONNECT process - open up engagement.

Ask your partner:

• How can we grow as a team if I set this goal and go after it?

• Even if I lose, how can we still win?

Conclusion:

TLDR: People with conscious accountability make choices based on how their actions affect others, not just themself. Self-accountability may change your habits, but conscious accountability will transform your world.

🌱 Thrive together,

Michelle

P.S. I’m working on an online relationship course to give you the tools to build strategy into your relationship at your own pace. You’ll have multiple relationship retreat agendas at your fingertips.

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